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Trent D. Pines
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Life on Altamont Court: Finding the Extraordinary in the Ordinary Kindle Edition

by Trent D Pines (Author) Format: Kindle Edition
4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 369 ratings
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When a gay couple moves in… The Inflatable Snowman. The Gigantic Inflatable Snowman. We thought that ‘Frosty’ would lead to our demise. That 20-foot monstrosity had me questioning our decision to move into this seemingly quiet neighborhood on a cul-de-sac. Was I ever wrong. It turned out to be one of the best decisions we ever made. This book is dedicated to the memories and life-changing events that took place during our stay on Altamont Court. The people, the traditions, the holidays and the celebrations of life and love are all captured within these pages. Take a journey with me and read about the mayhem and mishaps that come into play when you mix together a potpourri of characters that live within a stone’s throw of each other. Take an eco-friendly, high-strung type A neighbor, a demanding Italian Matriarch, men who are the embodiment of the words “More Power,” a troop of loving and mischievous kids and mix in two gay men who are hell-bent on making a home out of a charming half-million-dollar fixer upper and you have the residents of Altamont Court. My name is Trent and Ken is my partner. This is our journey and our way of giving thanks to those who shared it along the way. Whether you are a weekend warrior who can't wait to get his hands around the next "improvement project", a stiletto-wearing Texas woman who wields a gun in flawless makeup, or a queen from the city who eagerly awaits the next big sales event at Neiman Marcus - this memoir is for you. Pour a drink, sit back, relax and enjoy - and if you don't, then the words of a truly classy character and dear friend come to mind, "What the F&%$’s wrong with you?" Yes, it's that kind of party - bless our hearts.
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  1. Print length
    364 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Sticky notes
    On Kindle Scribe
  4. Publication date
    January 15, 2014
  5. File size
    16574 KB
  6. Page Flip
    Enabled
  7. Word Wise
    Enabled
  8. Enhanced typesetting
    Enabled
  9. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

From Kirkus Reviews

Pines’ debut memoir offers a lighthearted, entertaining tale about his time on Altamont Court—a small, suburban cul-de-sac in Morristown, N.J.—and the neighbors who became his surrogate family. The author repeatedly notes that he never envisioned himself having a white-picket-fence kind of life. However, that’s exactly what he got when he moved, with his partner, Ken, to Altamont Court, a quiet suburban neighborhood filled with zany, inquisitive and lovable neighbors. The memoir’s first section centers on Pines’ story of renovating a “half-million-dollar fixer-upper” home soon after he and Ken arrived in Morristown—a disastrous undertaking that’s similar to the one in the 1986 comedy film The Money Pit, which the author quotes throughout. The latter, and longer, section focuses on the couple’s life on Altamont Court after the renovation was complete and their relationships with their neighbors, including Karla, the outspoken matriarch next door; her tomboy daughter, Erin, who became Pines’ “faux goddaughter”; and Davin, Karla’s youngest son, who was “as honest and sincere as they come.” Ultimately, the stories here are simply amusing, at best, but the author’s voice and personality make this book highly entertaining. Pines is an honest, self-deprecating narrator (“Once we were boarded, I drugged myself with an Ambien, two Xanax, and two shots of vodka and woke up as we landed....Believe me when I say it’s in everyone’s best interest that I remain anesthetized on long international flights”), and reading his book feels like having a conversation with an old friend. This memoir is also notable for its real-life story of a committed gay couple living a peaceful domestic life, something rarely portrayed in the popular culture. A heartwarming memoir featuring funny stories of suburban life.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B00GURUHM8
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ ; 1st edition (January 15, 2014)
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ January 15, 2014
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • File size ‏ : ‎ 16574 KB
  • Text-to-Speech ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Screen Reader ‏ : ‎ Supported
  • Enhanced typesetting ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • X-Ray ‏ : ‎ Not Enabled
  • Word Wise ‏ : ‎ Enabled
  • Sticky notes ‏ : ‎ On Kindle Scribe
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 364 pages
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 369 ratings

About the author

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Trent D. Pines

Trent D. Pines

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Trent was born in Columbus, Ohio and grew up in a small town (cornfields of the Midwest as he would say) just east of the city. After graduating from Pickerington High School (Go Tigers!) he attended college at Abilene Christian University in West Texas and earned his degree in communications. Trent went on to further his education and completed his MBA at Emory University in 2003. Although he has a love for the performing arts and has performed on various stages in Texas, New Jersey and Georgia (never in drag, mind you), his desire for a stable paycheck with medical coverage outweighed his desire to pursue his theatrical dream and become the next Broadway phenom. It was then, at the age of twenty-four, that he started his career with his current employer; an international communications company, and learned that he had an aptitude for business. Thirty years later he still enjoys going to work and is pleased to present to you his latest artistic endeavor and first literary piece, Life on Altamont Court. Contract Trent at:

trentpines@gmail.com

or at

www.trentpines.com

Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5
369 global ratings
Fun, fun, and more fun!
5 Stars
Fun, fun, and more fun!
The adventures of Trent and Ken and everyone fortunate enough to have met them, share their lives with them, and go on a hilarious, fun-filled, belly-busting, eye-opening journey with them. Bless their hearts😉.
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Top reviews from the United States

Carla R. Moore
5.0 out of 5 stars An extraordinary find!!
Reviewed in the United States on March 31, 2014
Verified Purchase
What a treasure!! Life on Altamont Court is not only laugh-out-loud hilarious and FUN, but a wonderful story of the importance of commitment, love, friendship, and living life to the fullest with gratitude and joy! The author has done a wonderful job of writing the book so that you can either read a chapter at a time or submerse yourself into his life and world--not to mention the recipes and pictures that are included. I must confess that I even read a few chapters out of order and it was mind-altering--the night before I hosted our family Thanksgiving for 21, I took a break from everything to read about Trent and Ken hosting 48 family and friends. After I stopped laughing, I was crying with gratitude that I was able to not worry about the little details and just enjoy the blessing of being surrounded by family!! The author has such a wonderfully eclectic style that its hard to compare, but I would say it's the funniest Modern Family episodes narrated by George Carlin with recipes thrown in from Diane Mott Davidson or the Pioneer Woman!! But mostly, the best compliment that I can say is that I felt like I was sitting down in their kitchen over a delicious cup of coffee (or, more appropriately, a wonderful glass of wine!!) sharing a moment with dear friends!! And, you can never have too many moments of discovering the Extraordinary in the Ordinary--ENJOY :)
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Mantra Girl
5.0 out of 5 stars Magnificent! A true gem!
Reviewed in the United States on January 25, 2015
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Magnificent! A true gem! What an honor to be invited to Altamont Court! It is truly a special place. This story will have you in stitches one minute, and the next minute, tearing up. How wonderful this is, knowing that there is such love and kindness waiting for you out there. Even with all the s*** we see day in, day out. We can still experience the good that right there in front of us.

I so loved this story! Moving through the pages of the day in the life of Altamont Court showed the true gems of unconditional love, community, family, support, laughter and tears. Growing together through the years, being true to yourself and not holding back on being who you truly are. Given the the space to be free to be fierce! Yup, saw a lot of that. Grab your drink of choice and some tissue. Get ready for some shoutin' and laughin', and hold on tight.

We are all at different points in our lives. But that does not mean we are without true feelings of love and understanding. Sometimes it takes a work such as this book to remind us of this. Bless you heart. :)

p.s. Thanx for the recipes and pictures, Trent!
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Jill
4.0 out of 5 stars Modern Family Neighborhood Version
Reviewed in the United States on December 14, 2013
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Coming from a very close and social neighborhood, I was eager to read Life on Altamont Court. What a fun book! It's an easy read for both those who want to read for hours or those who need to do it in 15 minute chunks of time. I found myself reading sections aloud to my family because I couldn't wait to share them. Think of Modern Family with both family and neighbors as key characters and you have Altamont Court. The added bonus is the recipe section at the end of the book.
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Peter Lu
5.0 out of 5 stars A wonderful book about Life, Love and Laughs!
Reviewed in the United States on December 17, 2013
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I got this book because of the great ratings and I have yet to be let down. I have not been able to put this book down and finally have completed it and I want more. This book is a must buy/read!

The book follows the life of a gay man living a family life in a neighborhood in New Jersey. The focus is not on the men being a gay couple, but about living life and dealing with the same issues and celebrations of life that any other family encounters...but with a FABULOUS flare. I'm a straight man living in Dallas, TX but I could relate to so many of the situations in the book, the macho men in the neighborhood that have more power tools than they know what to do with, the neighbor that goes overboard with Christmas decorations, and the wonderful cooks that you always invite to your parties because you know they will bring wonderful food.

Speaking of food, the book includes many of the recipes that are referenced in the stories. I can't wait to try it out this holiday season. Don't these sound great?

"Made a pot of sauce, you'll come to dinner" - sauce
"Trent's divine balls" - risotto rice balls
"The Nog" - just in time for the holidays
"How do you say 'I need your cheesecake recipe,' in Italian?" - Italian Cheesecake

The only thing I would say this book is missing is the NEXT BOOK! What happens next in your life? What happened before you got to New Jersey?
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Jessica Booth
5.0 out of 5 stars A Fantastic Read
Reviewed in the United States on October 30, 2015
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Life on Altamont Court is a outstanding adventure that Trent and Ken made living in New Jersey on a lovely street called Altamont Court. From buying a new-to-them house and going through several challenging remodels, to having the perfect neighbors and hilarious mothers, Trent made living on Altamont Court a dream to all who read about his endeavors. I often found myself comparing my life and neighborhood to theirs and wondering why I couldn’t be as fortunate as them! Hearing the stories of their backyard parties for neighbors, holidays, and daughters melted my heart and made me laugh so hard that I would cry.

If you’re looking for a insight into the lives of two absolutely incredible people and all of the others that have touched their hearts, this book is the perfect read for you. If you’re wanting a pick-me-up and a book that makes you feel like you’re right there painting with Heather or attending Lindsay’s 16th Greased themed birthday party, this is the book for you.

Pick up a copy, and trust me, you won’t put it down until your done!
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Top reviews from other countries

Sarah
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 6, 2015
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good read
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Benoit Lambot
5.0 out of 5 stars Universal sense of humor
Reviewed in France on January 7, 2014
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A book with a international sense of humor - you laugh a lot even if you are a not an US citizenship. And the pictures at the end - what a great idea ;-))
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Carol P
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in Australia on February 18, 2015
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Very enjoyable book.
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Angie T.D.
4.0 out of 5 stars Different
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 23, 2015
Verified Purchase
Good find I like quite camp humour and this tale of moving into a new area and meeting the some what eccentric n'bours and all that it entails kept me entertained.Bonus was there were recipes too!
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